South Park: Cartman's Dilemma
by MrOutlawMarston
Summary: Set after the events of Season 20 of South Park. If you haven't seen season 20, there are spoilers here for it, so watch out! Having lied to Heidi, Cartman is haunted by the possibility that Heidi will leave him if she finds out about his lie. He has no choice but to make his hardest decision yet.
1. Chapter 1- Peaceful Times?

**Author's Note: Wow, this is my first time writing a fanfic! Anyways, I created this story because I ship Cartman and Heidi as a couple. There's not enough fanfic revolving around them, even now since they are technically canon. I kinda hope they stay together in Season 21, but that won't happen since it's really heavily implied that they will probably break up. *Sigh* A person can dream, can't they! Enjoy the story, folks!**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own the characters of South Park. All characters and location names belong to South Park Digital Studios LLC.**

On a bright day in South Park, the town was on its path to recovery. The gender war that the boys and girls of South Park Elementary were going through has ended and the website called , which has caused mass hysteria in America, has been wiped off the face of the Earth. In its wake, the town has become a place of peace. It was like the town had reached a peaceful state, which it has not experienced for a very long time.

Strangers passed each other on the sidewalk and happily greeted each other as if they personally knew one another. Cars were driven slowly with drivers sighing in awe. Kids were out playing in the park, laughing in glee. It was nothing but sunshine and happiness all around. In the middle of this, two boys were walking beside each other on the sidewalk, happily talking to each other.

"Stop, I don't want to hear it! " said the portly boy in the red jacket with a blue hat. " Just shut your mouth, Butters!"

"But Eric, I'm telling you this because I don't want you go through what I been through. " said Butters with pity in his voice as he looked at his friend. "They're all conniving snakes in the grass. All girls are!"

"No, not Heidi! She's different! She makes me feel a lot happier than I ever been. " argued Cartman, not sounding too convinced by Butters.

Butters shook his head and patted his friend on the back " That's what they do to you. They build you up, making you feel like you're a gosh darn king. Then, they tear you down by pooping on your heart. That's how it's always been. " Cartman rolled his eyes and scoffed.

"Please, Butters. Just because it happened to you, doesn't mean it will happen to me too." Cartman said with confidence. Butters, on the hand, pressed on with his speech.

"Eric, it will happen to you. Trust me, you have to dump her or she will poop on your heart like my no good ex-girlfriend did." said Butters, sounding more serious as he spoke. He was trying his best to convince Cartman to see his way. The last thing he wanted to see was his friend all heartbroken and sad.

Without warning, Cartman quickly stepped forward and stood in front of him with anger. "Why don't you back off? I know what you are trying to do!" said Cartman harshly, pointing at him with a scowl.

Butters looked unsure at what he was saying. "What do you mean, Eric?"

"YOU KNOW WHAT I FUCKING MEAN!" yelled Cartman, anger rising in his voice. "You're trying to make me dump her first so that you can have a shot at her, aren't you?!". Butters closed his eyes and sighed.

"I told you before. I want nothing to do with girlfriends ever again." Ever since what he was told by a certain someone, Butters' view on girls has been completely warped, making him believe that they work in evil heartless ways. In the corner of his eye, Butters noticed something behind Cartman. He looked past Cartman and noticed someone approaching them. He looked at the approaching person and then to Cartman.

"But I guess, you just want to go through that then, huh. Don't say I didn't warn you, buddy." said Butters calmly as he closed his eyes shut. Cartman simply raised an eyebrow at this.

"Look, it's not going to happen. She's different and I won't let you take her away from me, you piece of-".

"Hey Eric, what are you doing?" A sweet voice coming from behind Cartman interrupted him. All the anger Cartman felt at the moment disappeared as he turned around to face the person behind him. It was a girl with a green jacket, wearing a red winter cap with strip over it.

"Oh, hey Heidi." smiled Eric, as he looked at his girlfriend. "I was just talking to Butters about how a great friend he is."

Heidi tilted her head and a look of confusion was spread on her face. " What do you mean, talking to Butters?"

Confused by what she had said, he stood to the side for her to see Butters. "That's Butters right there." Heidi stared ahead of her and looked back at Cartman as she shrugged her shoulders.

" What, that's Bu-" Cartman trailed off as he looked too and didn't find Butters behind him at all. He blinked and looked around. He swore Butters was right behind him. There was no way that he could have run off without a trace. Suddenly, Cartman felt a soft hand on his shoulder.

"Babe, What's the matter?" asked Heidi, sounding worried for her boyfriend. Almost instantly, Cartman wiped his face off of confusion and turned around to face her with a grin.

"Oh no, nothing babe. You got nothing to worry about. "said Cartman in a confident tone, slowly bringing his hands to interlock with hers. He would have to wonder about Butter's mysterious disappearance later. "I'm glad to hear that. Come on, I want to show you something. " said Heidi with a smile. She pulled on his hands, prompting him to walk with her.

While they were walking, Cartman was not paying much attention to where they were going, as he was too deep in thought. He was thinking about what Butters had said to him before he vanished. It was the same thing that he said from before but he sounded more serious this time. _Could he really be helping him? No, he couldn't be helping. Butters is an asshole and just wants him to get rid of Heidi for himself._

Upon thinking of her, he looked at Heidi, who looked happy and anxious to show him something. He couldn't help but smile and look away. She was the only girl who actually got really close to him. Every other girl would rather watch paint dry than get to know him. She tugged at his heart, revealing a feeling to Cartman that he did not believe he could feel for somebody else other than his mom and Mr. Kitty. It was a really nice feeling. Ever since they became boyfriend and girlfriend, she held a special spot in his heart.

 _That's what they do to you. They will bring you down when you're at your happiest_. Cartman's mind paused at this. For some reason, those thoughts formed in his mind without warning. Strange, considering that he has not had those thoughts before.

He shook his head and looked at Heidi again. She has not once done anything to wrong him. The kind and caring spirit she has shown him never wavered. All the trust she has placed in him was incredible. Nobody who knows him or of him would ever do that. There was just no way she could be a snake in the grass.

 _Maybe she is doing that so you'll let your guard down and then she can close in for the kill_. When that thought crossed his mind, he placed his free hand on his head, trying to get rid of that thought. He had no idea where these thoughts were coming from.

Unfortunately, this didn't do anything except make him feel really uneasy. These random thoughts were starting to conflict with what he should believe in. On one side, these thoughts could possiblly be true and that Heidi is a conniving snake. On the other hand, he could dismiss them and truly believe that Heidi is genuinely nice because she really likes him. He was very troubled on this matter. In the midst of this entire struggle, he knew what had to be done in order to clear these thoughts. Cartman stopped walking and released his grip on Heidi's hand.

Upon sensing that her hand was empty, Heidi stopped and looked at him. "Something wrong, boo?" asked Heidi.

"Heidi, I want to know something," said Cartman, with a blank face. " Are you hiding something from me?"

Heidi tilted her head in confusion. "What do you mean, babe?" said Heidi, unsure why he is acting like this. He pressed on.

"Are you hiding something from me?" said Cartman, pronouncing each word as slowly as he could. She didn't say anything, only dawning a blank expression on her face. Her silence made Cartman uneasy, slightly regretting for asking her. Finally, she spoke up. " I am."

Cartman blinked and raised an eyebrow at this. "You are? Can you tell me then!?" exclaimed Cartman, making sure she didn't hear how pissed he sounded. She didn't respond. Instead, Heidi stepped closer to him, her blank expression not changing. She was getting closer until she was only a few inches away from his face. Raising her hand, she pointed a finger to his chest.

"I'm going to break your heart, Eric!" said Heidi but not in her usual voice. Cartman jumped back by the change in her voice. It didn't sound like the sweet voice he was used to. In fact, it sounded very demonic. Something was not right. He slowly backed away from her then immediately stopped when he noticed something odd. They were not standing in South Park anymore. The surroundings around him changed from the peaceful town he knew to a barren wasteland. Destroyed buildings and burnt down trees decorated the environment. A strong gust of wind blew around them, almost blowing Cartman's hat off.

"Where the hell are we?!" yelled Cartman as he frantically looked around. He was so distracted with his thoughts that he had no idea where they were or how they even got here. Suddenly, the same demonic voice spoke up, causing Cartman to look back at Heidi. Cartman froze at what he saw. Instead of seeing Heidi, he saw a large, furry monster in her place. Its body was deformed, not even recognizable as a human anymore. Its monstrous eyes were glowing red and they were trained on him. Cartman backed away slowly; his heartbeat quickened at the thought of what might come next. The monster licked its razor sharp teeth as it stared at him.

"Where's Heidi?" asked Cartman, looking from side to side. The monster laughed whole-heartily and stared at him.

"I am Heidi, you fool" Seconds later, the monster's face morphed into Heidi's face. "Don't you recognize me, babe"

Cartman started shaking when he saw that this beast was indeed Heidi. Seeing him shake in place, the monster laughed as it morphed back to its original face. It then raised its hand and brought it to its neck, mimicking a slicing sound as it moved its hand across its neck.

"Heidi, you don't have to do this." said Cartman, surprised at how scared he sounded. The monster laughed as it stared at him with those eyes.

"I have to. You lied to me, so you must pay!" yelled the monster, showing its razor sharp teeth. It took a step toward him, looking menacingly. Cartman quickly looked around him, hoping to see anyone near to help him. His search didn't last that long when he saw her let out a bloodcurdling scream and in an instant, lunged at him. Darkness fell over his mind as he screamed in terror.

* * *

"Aaaaaaaahhhhh!"

Sweat formed at the base of his forehead as he breathed heavily. Cartman was gripping onto something soft very tightly. He looked around where he was now. He was no longer with the monster in that wasteland. Instead, he saw that he was in his room, lying in bed. Wondering if he was truly awake, he pinched himself. The sense of pain told him that he was now in reality. It was just a nightmare. Suddenly, the door to his room opened up quickly, making him jump.

"Poopsikins, what happen? Is someone here?!" said Liane Cartman as she took out a gun and was pointing it around his room. She was in her pajamas, most likely about to go to sleep. Sighing in relief that it was just his mom, Cartman gained some of his composure.

"No, mom. Nobody is here. I just had a nightmare." said Cartman as he signaled for her to put the gun down. Ms. Cartman looked at her gun and then placed it away quickly, feeling embarrassed by what she did. She sat on the side of bed, next to Cartman.

"I'm sorry hun. What was the nightmare about?" asked Ms. Cartman as she wrapped a hand around Cartman.

"It was about my girlfriend. She turned into monster after telling me that she was going to break my heart. I begged her not to but then she told me that she has to because I lied to her about something but I know I didn't. I was so scared for my life and wanted to get away from her but then she attacked me." said Cartman quickly as a small tear was rolling off his eyes. Ms. Cartman took a couple of seconds to process what she just heard.

"There, there, Eric. It was just a nightmare. A nightmare cannot hurt you." She comforted him as she patted him on his back.

"But it looked so real" wailed Cartman.

" I know it might have but its not real, sweetie." said Ms. Cartman, trying her best to cheer him up. Moments later, Cartman finally calmed down with the help of his mother. He thanked his mother, who in return smiled back at him. She got up and tucked him into bed properly.

"Sweet dreams, Eric." said Ms. Cartman as she turned to leave his room.

As she was starting to head out of his room, Cartman instantly remembered something.

"Mom, do girls turn into a monster if you lie to them?" asked Cartman with curiosity. Ms. Cartman paused for a moment then shook her head.

"No, sweetie, they don't. Now, try to get some rest." said Ms. Cartman as she left the room.

When his mom left, Cartman laid in bed as he stared at the ceiling. He was glad that his mom said that but part of him didn't believe it. For all he knew, this nightmare could turn out to be true. Heidi could turn into monster if she found out that he lied to her. As soon as that thought crept into his mind, he had trouble falling back to sleep again.


	2. Chapter 2- Asking for Advice

The next day in the morning, Stan and Kyle were standing at their usual spots, waiting for the school bus to pick them up. They stood there in silence as both thought about what has happen in their town.

" So do you think things are back to normal? The girls don't hate us anymore?" asked Stan, hoping his friend to shed light on the matter.

Kyle shook his head. "I don't think things will go back to normal, Stan. But I do believe that the girls are not mad at us anymore. " answered Kyle as he looked at his friend.

" Yeah," Stan nodded. "But what about Cartman? You know he is going to try to get us for what we did to him."

At the mention of that, Kyle widened his eyes. He remembered what they did to him and he was certain that he would definitely want payback. However, the strange thing was Cartman said that he didn't hold a grudge against them. Somehow, Kyle didn't buy it. This is Cartman, for Pete's sake.

" We have to watch out for ourselves, dude!" said Kyle cautiously. Stan nodded in agreement. Whatever Cartman may be planning, they will be ready for it. As if on cue, the sound of heavy footsteps was approaching them.

"Hey guys." yawned Cartman, sounding tired from the past night.

Stan and Kyle tensed up, already on their guard. Not hearing a response from them, Cartman looked at them.

"What the hell is wrong with you guys?" asked Cartman, raising an eyebrow at them.

"There's nothing wrong, Cartman." lied Stan. Cartman shrugged and looked ahead of him.

A couple of minutes passed as nobody said anything to anyone. Cartman started whistling a tune out of boredom and Kyle was getting nervous at how awkward the silence was getting with each passing minute. It went on like this until Cartman stopped whistling and noticed somebody was missing.

"Hey, where's Kenny? Did he get so poor that he can't even go to school now? " laughed Cartman. Stan and Kyle shook their heads.

"No, Kenny told us that he has a doctor's appointment today." answered Stan. When he heard that, Cartman stopped laughing and looked serious, taking an interest on what he said.

"Oh yeah? What's wrong with him?" asked Cartman as he crossed his arms.

"We don't know. He told us that it was important and he had to miss school for it. " Cartman did a mental shake in his head at their response as he rolled his eyes.

"Well, I guess I'll go check up on him then. Make sure he's not crying at the hospital." said Cartman, turning to leave in the direction of Kenny's house.

Time seem to slow down as Kyle widened his eyes in disbelief at what he heard. Of all things that Cartman has said, this was something that was not like him at all. The Cartman he knows doesn't care about anyone. Kyle clenched his hands and turned to face Cartman. This is one big charade he has been pulling so that it will keep them on edge all the time around him for whenever he gets his revenge. Kyle has had enough.

"Cartman! What is your deal, dude!?" said Kyle, anger present in his voice. Cartman stopped in his tracks and turned around.

"What the hell are you talking about?" asked Cartman, confused at Kyle's outburst. Kyle walked up to him until he was practically standing in front of him.

" In these past weeks, there was nothing but trouble happening all around. There was trouble in the country and there was a war right at our doorstep that we did not want to be part of. " said Kyle as he went on. " Then we make the giant mistake of killing you off the Internet and you haven't done anything to get us back for it!"

Cartman paused for a second, trying to comprehend everything Kyle said to him, and then sighed. "I told you, I'm not holding a grudge against you guys. I found happiness after you guys broke my stuff. I got a girlfriend out of it!"

"Oh yeah, that was unpredi—" Stan didn't get to finish as he was abruptly interrupted.

"Oh stop it, Cartman. I know you are just using Heidi so that it would make us think that you won't get back at us." said Kyle angrily. Cartman blinked and then glared at Kyle.

"You really think that's why I'm with her, Kyle? You don't honestly believe that I really like this girl!?" said Cartman, his voice rising in anger.

Kyle shook his head and crossed his arms. " I know for a fact that you have done things in order to serve nobody but yourself! No girl in their right mind would date a selfish asshole like you." Stan, who was listening more than speaking in the conversation, widened his eyes.

"Dude" said Stan, shocked on how harsh Kyle was being. Stan knows how much of a jerk Cartman is but that was uncalled for.

Those words sparked up a fury in Cartman. Kyle always knew how to piss him off and for that, he despised him whole-heartedly for it. Violent thoughts filled Cartman's mind as he hands formed into fists. All this anger had to be vent out and what better a target than Kyle.

Cartman opened his mouth, planning on yelling back at Kyle at full force. However, no such words came out. Instead, he looked at Kyle and realized something at that instant. Seconds later, he unclenched his hands and the scowl on his face disappeared as it was replaced with a cheeky smile.

"Oh, I see what's going on here. You guys are jealous that I have a girlfriend!" said Cartman, pointing at the two of them.

"Wait, what?" No words could describe the state of confusion that Kyle was in. Stan simply blinked, not catching onto that until now.

" Hah, don't play dumb, Kyle. I can see it in your eyes that you're jealous that I have a girlfriend and you don't have one." laughed Cartman.

Kyle just stared at him until he snapped out of his confused state. "That's not what this is about, fatass!" yelled Kyle "It's about you get-"

" It's okay, Kyle, you can cry if you want to. " said Cartman as he kept laughing.

"Cartman! Shut your mouth! You know it's not about-"

"Nyeh Nyeh Nyeh Nyeh Nyeh Nyeh I have a girlfriend and you don't have one, ha ha ha ha ha ha!" sang Cartman as he danced in place, cutting off whatever Kyle was going to say. Kyle only gritted his teeth at this. He hated that dance.

Finally, Cartman stopped singing and turned away from them. "Well, I'm going to see Kenny now. See ya, douchebags" He waved them off and began walking down the street, humming happily.

"Cartman! Get back here and tell us what you have planned!" yelled Kyle as he stood there at the bus stop with a fist waving in the air.

"Screw you, hippie!" yelled Cartman back as he got further and further away from them. Just as Kyle was about to yell again, Stan cut him off.

"Dude, just let it go!" said Stan, sounding a bit annoyed on how long they were arguing for. Kyle sighed and lowered his fist. Whatever Cartman may be planning, they have to be ready for it. The only worry that Kyle has is when Cartman will strike back.

* * *

"Oh yeah, that's nice!"

On top of a small abandoned building, Kenny was sitting against a wall, reading his favorite magazines; Magazines that he couldn't buy until he was 18. He was ditching school for the day; told his friends that he had a doctor's appointment. Raising a finger to the page he was looking at, he traced on what appeared to be a very sexy and alluring woman. He couldn't help but be amazed by her, wishing that he were older. A second later, he closed his eyes and imagined how cool it would be to be with a woman like the one in the magazine. A sigh of content escaped his lips as he clenched the magazine to his chest.

Kenny continued to "read" as he reached for his soda can. He sipped on his drink and flipped through the pages. Suddenly, Kenny heard footsteps, which caused him to stop sipping his drink.

He looked in the direction of where it came from. It was coming from the side where he had placed a ladder to get to the second floor of the abandoned building. Feeling the need to investigate, Kenny got up and walked to where the ladder was. The sound of those footsteps were getting closer and louder as he approached the ladder. When he arrived at the ladder, the sound of footsteps ceased to exist. No longer hearing footsteps, Kenny became slightly afraid. He carefully looked over the side to see who was down there.

"Hello?" said Kenny as he looked down. No one responded. This was strange, considering that he heard something down there seconds ago.

"Kenny!" said a voice from behind him, nearly making him jump. Kenny turned around quick to see none other than Cartman behind him.

"Dude, what the fuck? Don't scare me like that!" said Kenny as he shoved Cartman. If there was one thing that Cartman seem to be good at, it was sneaking up on people.

"Oh relax. You act like I did that on purpose!" piped Cartman.

"Fine, but what are you doing here? Shouldn't you be at school right now?" asked Kenny, confused as to why Cartman was here.

Cartman simply smirked. "I could say the same thing about you too. Shouldn't you be at the "hospital" right now?" Kenny's eyes widen, seeing as he never told Cartman about that. Taking note of his reaction, Cartman shook his head in fake disbelief.

" You can lie to them but you can't lie to me, Kenny. I mean come on, that was the worst excuse that you can come up with and they still bought it. They should of known that poor people can't afford hospital bills!" laughed Cartman lightly. As if on cue, Kenny punched Cartman on his arm. "Shut up, Cartman!"

"Ugh, knock it off, Kenny. I didn't come here to rip on you." said Cartman, rubbing his arm from where Kenny struck him. "I came to ask for advice." As he said those words, his tone altered from a joking manner to a serious one

Kenny's anger died down as this surprised him. His friend was never one to ask for help, let alone advice. Regardless of that, Kenny wanted to see what he could do. He walked past Cartman and stood against the wall he was sitting against before he arrived.

"What do you need advice on, dude?" said Kenny, his attention fully focused on Cartman.

Taking in one long breath, Cartman gathered his thoughts. "It's about Heidi. I don't know what I should do about her. "

" What do you mean? Doesn't she make you happy?" asked Kenny, remembering how happy Cartman was when those two were together.

"She does! It's just that… I don't know if she is doing that because she likes me or she is doing it for her master plan." said Cartman uneasy, trying his best not to think the latter.

Kenny blinked as he was completely confused by what he was talking about.

"Master plan?" asked Kenny as he raised an eyebrow.

"The master plan to break up with me when the time is right!" answered Cartman harshly.

"What makes you think she will break up with you? You make her laugh and smile, dude! " said Kenny as he crossed his arms.

" I know but I can't stop thinking about what Butters told me about girls. How they will use us for our sperm and jokes because they are really not funny. " said Cartman quickly, his eyes staring at the floor now. Kenny just stood there in disbelief on what he was saying.

" Girls are not going to do that!" said Kenny loudly. Cartman stopped looking at the floor and stared at him" They're not?" Kenny shook his head.

" They won't. I know these things, I am an expert on girls after all" said Kenny with a smirk as he took a quick glance at his magazines. "Plus, when has Butters ever been right on stuff like this? Think about that."

Cartman blinked and took a moment to think. Butters has said a lot of things in the past before like about how he passed his sperm off as a new sports drink. Or the time when Butters thought he was dead. Or when he said that…! Then it hit him. Whatever Butters ended up saying, it almost always turned out to be untrue or bogus. Once that realization sunk in, Cartman felt like a real fool for being tricked…again.

"That blonde jackass!" said Cartman through gritted teeth. He would have to deal with Butters later.

"Cartman, I can see that you're mad but answer me this: How did Butters easily convert you to believe that women are not funny? I didn't think you were that easy to persuade. What gives, man?" said Kenny, wondering how that could happen.

All the anger Cartman had felt deflated as he tensed up. He had hope that Kenny didn't caught on to that part. It doesn't matter anymore though. He might as well tell him the truth. Kenny already showed him the truth about Butters.

" He didn't persuade me," confessed Cartman " I kind of believed all women were not funny ever since I watched that movie." Cartman stopped as he remembered how awful it was to remember it.

"What movie was that?" asked Kenny.

"Last summer, I went to see the new Ghostbusters movie, the one with chicks in it. I already knew it was going to be bad but I wanted to give it a chance. Little did I know, that was a big mistake. The movie was just awful. I didn't even laugh once. It was so unfunny that I sent an email in frustration to Butters saying that chicks are not funny and that they ruined the movie." said Cartman glumly, closing his eyes as the words left him.

"Ever since then, I tried to change myself from thinking that way. I did everything I could to show that all women are funny but that movie reminded me of the hard truth. All women are just not funny." Cartman frowned as he finished his confession and kept his eyes closed.

When Cartman finished, Kenny thought of everything he had said. He'll admit the movie was pretty bad; there was no question about that. However, there was something that was puzzling him though. A certain question was pecking at his mind.

"Cartman, do you think Heidi is funny?" asked Kenny sincerely.

Cartman kept his eyes shut and didn't respond. Instead, he was trying to remember if Heidi was funny at all. Throughout his relationship with her, he remembered that he had been the one with the jokes almost all the time. Making her laugh and not the other way around. He frowned, thinking that it was useless, as his memory wasn't helping him. He was about to stop until he quickly remembered a few times where she was actually funny. She had made him laugh from time to time by saying things in a funny way like saying school the way he said it, which he loved, and the time when they were on their small dates at M Burgers. He was genuinely laughing because of her. Remembering those times brought a smile to Cartman. They were his fond memories of her.

Unbeknownst to Cartman, Kenny was patiently watching him. Judging by the smile forming on his face, he could see that Cartman found the memories he was looking for. However, what caught Kenny off guard was that he could have sworn he saw a small tear trickling down from his friend's eyes. Seconds later, Cartman opened his eyes, making Kenny look off into the distance, pretending he didn't notice what he saw.

"I do. Heidi is smart and funny " Cartman smiled but then quickly frowned. " But I can't keep telling her that all girls are smart and funny. The Ghostbusters movie clearly proved that most are not. I don't want to keep lying about that."

If it had been Kyle who had listened to his story, he would think that Cartman was full of shit. Kenny, on the other hand, could see how sincere his friend was. He thought for a minute, searching for the right answer. He finally found one and looked at Cartman.

"Dude, as cliché as this sounds but I think you should tell her the truth. " said Kenny sincerely. "It would be best if you told her about this, even if you're scared that you might lose her".

Cartman thought for a minute on this. It's true that he has to tell her. Who knows how she might react if she found out from somebody else. However, if he tells her, he fears that he runs the risk of losing her. No matter how she will found out, it will be hard to deal with.

"You're right, Kenny. I'll have to tell her." admitted Cartman, half-smiling at Kenny. This will be the hardest thing for him to do. Kenny nodded.

"You can do this, Cartman. Nothing has ever stopped you from getting what you wanted before!" cheered Kenny, patting his friend on the back.

"Thanks, Kenny. I knew I could trust you more than those assholes Stan and Kyle." Kenny waved his gesture off like it was nothing.

Feeling empowered, Cartman began to head on his way until he stopped abruptly, remembering something important. He placed his backpack on the floor and started to dig through it for something. Feeling the object he was looking for, he pulled it out and showed it to Kenny. Kenny froze as he looked at the object. In Cartman's hands was the latest adult magazine with all his favorite "celebrities".

" I want you to have this for helping me with my problem. "He handed the magazine to Kenny, who gingerly accepted the gift. He stared at the gift and then at Cartman, not knowing what to say.

"You can say thanks, dumbass." said Cartman, crossing his arms. Kenny shook his head, feeling embarrassed for acting like that.

"Thanks, man! How did you even get this?!" said Kenny in astonishment. Cartman raised an eyebrow at him.

"Don't worry about it." answered Cartman, a hint of hostility present in his voice. Fortunately, Kenny didn't catch on to it and nodded.

"Good luck with Heidi, dude!" said Kenny, giving Cartman a thumbs up. Cartman nodded and descended down the ladder.

Once he reached the bottom, he was about to start walking until he heard Kenny shout in delight. He smirked, knowing that his friend is having the time of his life. He continued on his way, his next destination: school.


	3. Chapter 3- The Consequence

It was the last ten minutes of the day in Mrs. Nelson's class, and the kids were getting anxious to go home. Mrs. Nelson was the teacher who replaced Mr. Garrison after he went off and somehow became president. She was a different teacher from Mr. Garrison in a sense that she actually taught lessons meant for 4th graders.

Heidi listened attentively to Mrs. Nelson as she spoke. However, she found herself getting distracted, as she would sometimes gaze at the empty seat next to Stan. That was where Eric would be seated. She wasn't worried that he wasn't in class today, this was a Monday after all and everybody hates Mondays. She did kind of just miss him a little. Her focus was broken when the speaker in the class went off.

"Attention, all students. All after school activities taking place in the gym have been cancelled, m'kay. So head on home and enjoy your day, m'kay. That is all." announced Mr. Mackey, the school counselor. Some of the kids in the class quietly cheered, knowing that they can go home right after school. No doubt these kids had practice today that they didn't want to go to. Heidi, on the other hand, didn't have practice scheduled today so she was indifferent to it.

When the class finally ended, most of the students sprang into action, packed their bags, and tried to leave as quickly as possible.

"Don't forget to do your assigned reading today for tomorrow's class. Have a great day, kids. " announced Mrs. Nelson, who sat at her desk and checked over student assignments. Heidi was heading out of the classroom with her friends, Wendy and Red, close behind.

"Heidi, what are you going to do after school today?" asked Wendy. Heidi was thinking of only one thing she wanted to do.

"I was planning to check up on Eric. He wasn't in school today." answered Heidi. Wendy and Red crossed their eyes when they heard her say that.

"Heidi, we don't think you should be seeing Cartman anymore!" exclaimed Red, who hissed when she had to say Cartman's name.

"Why do you say that? He's changed." said Heidi casually, walking to her locker while they followed closely. Wendy shook her head.

"Changed?! He's the same manipulative, bigoted, sexist jerk of the school. He is a mean-spirited boy who shows no kindness to anyone" said Wendy as she crossed her arms. Heidi stopped walking, which prompted the other girls to stop behind her.

"Look, I can understand that you two hate him but he has truly changed if you take the chance to actually get to know him. You can't judge him on his past and write him off as truly evil. " said Heidi, her voice sounding a bit angered. Red scoffed at such an idea.

"Heidi, he is nothing but evil. We're only saying this so you don't become a victim in his tricks. He's acting nice to you now but eventually he will show his true-" Red trailed off when she heard an abrupt scream.

"Ahhh! Oh, Hamburgers!" screamed Butters, running down the hallway past the three girls. The girls didn't understand why he was running or even screaming about. Suddenly, they flinched as a beastly roar echoed through the hall.

"Butters! A student has informed me that you used a micro aggression! Get to my office now!"" yelled PC Principal angrily, swiftly chasing after Butters.

"I didn't, sir. Honest!" screamed Butters, keeping his distance away from the principal.

"That's not what I heard!" PC Principal quickened his pace, which caused Butters to run even faster.

The girls watched the scene play out until the two turned the corner onto a different hallway.

"That was weird." said Wendy dumbfounded, still staring in the direction where they were. Red and Heidi slowly nodded in agreement. Seconds later, Red snapped back into reality.

"Back to what I was saying, you shouldn't be dating Cartman, Heidi. He will only end up hurting you! He doesn't care about you at all!" exclaimed Red, trying her best to convince her friend. Heidi turned around and faced her friends as she crossed her arms.

"If you two are just going to keep on talking like this, then just leave me alone. I shouldn't have to defend myself for who I date." said Heidi in a serious tone. Wendy sighed; seeing as the tension was rising the longer they spoke about this.

"Heidi, please listen to us. We're your friends. We're just trying to protect you from getting hurt." said Wendy gently.

"I don't need protection. I can handle the choices I make, the good ones and the bad ones. And choosing to be with Eric is a good choice for me." said Heidi, not changing her tone at all.

"You're making a…" Red was cut off as Heidi raised her hand to both of them.

"Just leave me alone!" Heidi pointed them away from her, really getting sick and tired of talking about this. Wendy and Red sulked as they frowned slightly. They did all they could.

Not wanting to cause trouble, they turned and walked away from her. When they were finally out of sight, Heidi lowered her head and sighed. Her friends couldn't accept the fact that she is happier with Eric. They don't understand that he makes her feel very happy and he does everything he can to make her smile. She wondered why her friends just see that he is not a jerk anymore.

 _They'll need to give it some time. Eventually, they will come to accept that he is not a evil jerk anymore._ Bearing that thought in mind, Heidi perked up and headed for her locker.

Heidi arrived at her locker and opened it up to get her other stuff so that she can go home. As soon as the locker opened up, she noticed a piece of paper attached on the wall of her locker. Removing the piece of paper off the wall, she read it silently to herself. It said:

 _Heidi, I have to talk to you about something important. Please meet me at the gym afterschool._

Looking at the bottom of the paper, she noticed that it from Eric. Her heart jumped at this gesture. Seeing Eric will cheer up her mood completely. However, she did wonder what this important talk could be about. Nonetheless, she had to go see him. She shut her locker and went off to the gym.

* * *

"She'll be here soon"

Cartman was sitting at the bottom of the gym stand, waiting for the inevitable. He was clasping his hands nervously as he stared at the door leading to the hallway. There was no good way around what he was about to do. He was nervous and worried on how she would take it. This made him fear for the worst-case scenario where she leaves him, breaking his heart in the process. At the thought of that, he stared at the floor and sighed sadly.

Just then, he heard the door open and he looked up to see Heidi standing there. His heartbeat quickened as sweat formed at his forehead. She was giving him that smile he always loved. He wiped the sweat off his forehead and smiled back at her.

"Hey boo." said Heidi as she ran to where he was sitting.

"Hey babe, nice to see you." Eric patted the seat next to him, which prompted her to sit down next to him. For a moment, they sat in silence. Cartman noticed that he was feeling less anxiety now that Heidi is here with him.

"You sure picked a good spot to have a talk. The gym isn't usually empty after school, especially on a Monday. " said Heidi, breaking the silence. Cartman nodded slowly.

"Yeah, I know. It seem like the perfect spot for a talk so I had Mr. Mackey do me a solid and empty it out." said Cartman confidently.

"You did that? But how? "asked Heidi in shock as she stared at her boyfriend.

Cartman smirked as he remembered how it all happened.

 _Flashback_

 _"Gosh darn it Eric, you can't stay in my office until school is over, m'kay." said Mr. Mackey with a small scowl._

 _"I'm afraid I can, Mr. Mackey!" said Cartman with a stern look, as he climbed up onto the small sofa that was there._

 _"No, get your behind back to class now, m'kay!" Mr. Mackey rose from his desk and angrily pointed Eric to the door. Cartman sighed._

 _"Fine, I guess I'll just go tell PC Principal that you treated me unfairly." Mr. Mackey widens his eyes at the mention of that_

 _"Wait, no, not PC Principal! Don't tell him, m'kay! You can stay here until school is over." said Mr. Mackey, sounding very scared for his life. Cartman laid down on the sofa and smirked._

 _"Sweet! Oh, and I'm going to need you make an announcement that there will be no afterschool activities in the gym today." Mr. Mackey raised an eyebrow at this._

 _"What for?"_

 _"Just do this for me"_

 _"I have to know why the gym has to be…"_

 _"Should I go tell PC Principal now"_

 _"No, don't! Fine, I'll make the announcement, m'kay." Cartman smiled, secretly knowing that PC Principal will be busy with someone else, thanks to him._

 _Flashback end_

Cartman sighed happily and looked at Heidi.

" Let's just say that he owes me one, m'kay. He and I are m'kay pals, m'kay." answered Cartman as he mimicked Mr. Mackey's voice. Heidi giggled at this.

"Anyways, there was something you wanted to talk about, babe?" asked Heidi. As soon as she said that, Cartman's suddenly became serious. He breathed in and out, mustering up the courage to do what he had to do.

"Heidi, I have to tell you something important but I want you to know this." He gently took hold one of Heidi's hands and held it in both of his hands. "I really like you and you're the best thing to ever happen to me." said Cartman gently and sincerely as he stared at her.

Heidi blushed a nice shade of red without saying a word. Seeing as she didn't say anything, he released his hold on her and continued on.

"Remember when we said that we don't keep secrets from each other." said Cartman. Heidi nodded in agreement.

"Well, I kept a secret from you. It was that I lied to you. I lied about how all girls are smart and funny." said Cartman as he struggled to have the words come out. " When I saw the new Ghostbusters movie, Jimmy didn't steal my phone. I had it with me the whole time. I hated the movie. I hated it so much that I sent an email saying that chicks ruined the movie and that they're not funny." Cartman lowered his head and stared at anything but her.

"Eric, I thought you always believed all women are smart and funny. Why did you lie about it?" asked Heidi, sounding slightly hurt to find out about this.

" I lied because I didn't want to lose you." He raised his head and stared at Heidi. To her shock, his eyes had small tears trickling down. There was no question on how sincere he was being to her. Cartman wiped his eyes and pressed on.

"You came into my life and managed to dig a special place in my heart. I thought my world was over when all my stuff was crushed by my former friends but it wasn't. I'm much happier now and I have you to thank for that. You mean everything to me, Heidi." said Cartman as he gently placed a hand on her lap.

Heidi felt that her cheeks were burning hot if she were to touch them. She couldn't tell what she had to think. She was supposed to feel hurt and angry that he lied to her but at the same time she couldn't. It sounded like Eric tried his hardest to keep anything from losing her. The old Cartman that her friends were trying to protect her from wouldn't do that. When Cartman saw that she was silent, he removed his hand off of her.

"I guess that was selfish of me to do that. I can understand if you want to break up with me." Eric stood up and had his back to her, not wanting her to see him in this state any longer. He sulked and stood there, waiting for her answer.

Heidi placed a hand on her chest as she stared at him while he stood there. It's bothering her to see him in the state that he is in. He was afraid and sad, not a sight she is used to seeing him in. As for what he said, Heidi felt touched that he really thinks of her that way. It made her feel that she was special to him. She was right in what she said; being with Eric is a good choice for her. She got up silently and approached him slowly. Gently, she placed her hand on his shoulder, which made him perk up at sense of her touch.

"Eric, I'm not mad at you." said Heidi softly. Cartman widened his eyes and turned around quickly.

"You're not?" said Cartman in disbelief. Heidi shook her head.

"But I lied to you?!"

Heidi playfully rolled her eyes. "Yeah, you did but you personally came and told me about the truth after all. No other boy has the courage to do that." smiled Heidi as she interlocked her hands with his. Cartman looked at their hands and then at Heidi.

"So does this mean you'll stay with me?" asked Cartman. She didn't answer him. Instead, she leaned in and planted a soft kiss on his lips. This took Cartman by surprise but then he quickly melted into it. It lasted for a moment until Heidi broke away and looked at him, flashing that smile he adores.

" I wouldn't like it any other way, babe." Cartman couldn't help but smile as he softly pulled her into a warm embrace. All the worries that Cartman had vanished as he enjoyed holding her in his arms. They stayed like that for a few seconds but to Cartman, it felt like hours. Heidi broke the hug slightly and looked at him but her smile slowly became a slight frown.

"Babe, there's just one thing I want to ask you." said Heidi uncomfortably. Cartman simply looked at her, waiting for her to continue. "If you don't think all girls are smart and funny, does that mean you don't think I'm smart and funny?" She lowered her head slightly when she asked that. The question surprised Cartman completely. Sure, not all girls are smart and funny but this didn't apply to her at all. Cartman lifted her chin up so that she was looking at him.

"Hey, you are smart, Heidi. You're smart and funny. "answered Cartman sincerely with a smile. Heidi couldn't help but smile as she leaned in once more and gave him a peck on his cheek, sending goose bumps for Cartman.

"Good, I just wanted to hear you say that to me again." said Heidi, as she winked at him. Cartman nodded, knowing he hasn't said that to her for a long time. She was actually smart and funny, and he wouldn't like it any other way.

Suddenly, Cartman heard a loud grumbling noise come out of nowhere. He looked at Heidi with a sly smirk. In turn, she backed away from Cartman and covered her stomach shyly. She looked very embarrassed to have him see her like this. Cartman rolled his eyes and extended his hand out to Heidi.

"Come on, baby. You hungry? We can go to M Burgers if you want." said Cartman sincerely with that smile she loved. Heidi nodded, taking hold of his hand. She has really grown used to holding his hand. It felt like a nice second home to her.

They walked off, heading out of the gym and into the hallways. As they walked through the hallway, they earned stares from others who couldn't believe that they are still together. To Cartman and Heidi, they could careless what others thought of them. All that mattered to them was each other and the adventures that await them.


End file.
